Monday, July 30, 2007



Hello. I am once again unsatisfied with my self-made blogskin so here I am renewing it all. Maybe, I need MORE inspiration because the former looked dull and the more I try to revise it the more it ends up looking duller by the minute. Adobe is playing tricks on me. I can't manage to manipulate my brain and I believe that I've knocked out all creative cells inside of me. It sucks, I know. School projects are to blame, no offense dear teachers. Our Environmental Education project is useless because we do not know how to actually go about building an aquatic biosphere made of scrap and considering that all my creative cells have vanished, I cannot direct myself into thinking how the whole thing shall go. So at this very moment I am wasteful of my time-- yes, I regret it but I can't make myself live a school life that is all planned out. I want it to be spontaneous and frank so that I learn to be flexible to changes and adapt to them quite easily. But in this case, I don't think it is appropriate. Bitter truth: DEADLINE IS ON WEDNESDAY, JULY 31. Cramming buddies, here I coooome!

Yesterday, we watched "Florante at Laura" in AFP. It had me thinking about the plot of the storyline which is, for my case, outright fantasy in some points. Frankly, I am not a Francisco Balagtas enthusiast nor a filipino classic fanatic. (Yeah, screw me!) I find it hard dealing with those heart-felt Filipino lines, which in some cases are as cheesy as can be (and dull at times.. sorry :D), because they feel too fake. But truth be told, I want to open up myself into these Filipino classics and dig a more appreciative literary buff within me. No, the story line was not too hard to absorb but the involvement and presence of excruciatingly-hard-to-translate-vocabs are at fault. I know I am Filipino and everything but the language is difficult for me to comprehend. Whoever thought Filipino was easy? Nah, not me. NOT.AT.ALL.


Reality check:

• I am gaining weight once again. This sucks. I think my no-rice diet is not working. DARN.
• I finished Ramayana already and I am a wee bit fascinated by the imaginary scenes involved. It was goody-good but not too much. Shallow plot, that's it.
• Monday again. Mondays are my most disliked days of the week.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007



Since I cannot fully condition myself into doing "productive" research about Indian Literature, Narcotics, Basho and Li Po, I decided that maybe (just maybe) my inner self feels the urge to write, at least. Truth be told, I am too distracted that I cannot even manage the twirling of other thoughts inside my brain. In simpler terms, I cannot clear my mind and this, as you all know, is a bad habbit because frankly, I will not be able to accomplish things which I need to do at this very instant. Take right now, for instance.. I should be doing research on several topics but no, I am blogging. (Hehe!) Hm, let's put aside school for a moment. Maybe a break from dreadful school-related activities is what I need.. Yeah.. maybe.

*Good thoughts in, nasty out*

Talking about newspapers, (call me a freak if you want to) I read them, as much as possible, daily. I think my Mom's constant nagging paid off. Now I am sorta-kinda a newspaper devotee-- exclusive for Inquirer, dear-- but I do not read much about "business" since I infer that it is useless for a person my age. Anyway, I got another fact about Mr. Harry Potter. His book was actually a BIG BREAK in the literature world selling 83 million copies within 24 hours in the United States alone. Talk about.. chaos! And imagine, it is just ONE country.. what about the others?! (And, just think about how much J.K. Rowling earned!!) If I am not mistaken, a series would be sold some time September (books 1-7) and most likely, I will just hit the bookstores then. For the moment, I will be busy filling up my dusty wallet since I wish to buy it from my own money. Whew, I think it needs a lot of "sacrifice" on my part.

Going on, newspapers are sorta-kinda my best buds at home. (Eww. But true!) I read them to keep myself updated with current events but not really those which are talk too much about dirty politics. Dirty politics suck and the more I read about what's going on within the government, the more I get pissed off. Dirty minds+Dirty politics=Dirty Ruling which also wholly equivalent to Dirty Philippines. No wonder. It is for this reason that I try to focus much on other aspects specially lifestyle because it teaches a lot about everyday living covering up topics from family, school, physical and emotional facets.. and they are NOT boring at all. In fact, I feel a pang of excitement in reading issues of it everyday. Also, Young Blood's opinion section is such an attention grabber. There are basically a lot of great essays and good contributions from young writers. Nonetheless, I never fail to check out Sports section as well as Metro (which includes World).

I never expected my interest in newspapers to flourish. I used to dislike them because they contained real hard words which I cannot understand. But, as time progressed and my interest grew from pre-school vocabulary to a well-reformed (in a way) one, I got the grasp of how stimulating these printed account of news could be. So, yes, I am happy to be called a newspaper devotee. And one day maybe I could be a great essay writer.. just maybe..

Tuesday, July 24, 2007



I am not an avid fan of the Harry Potter series (author: J.K. Rowling). Sure, I do own hardbound copies of books two and three but never, never did I give myself a chance to sit and read it. Yes, it was a useless purchase because it is now collecting dust down in the basement book rack. Seriously, I was a money-waster (and I am not proud of that!). Well, I tried to read it before but after finally figuring out that it was too long and I probably could not stand it any longer, I'd give up and place book on the shelf. Every now and then, I tried to recondition myself into actually giving the book another try but it eventually ended up as an unfinished, unread book. (If I am not mistaken, I only got to read book two up to Chapter 6.) But looking at it now, I am amazed at how many fans it had drawn world-wide. Frankly, I think there is more to the book itself that makes people hooked to it. And that is what I attempt to figure out.... some other time.

Recently, newspapers were actually covered with articles about its upcoming release (which was incredibly a BLAST) and now (yes, as early as now), there are published reviews. I just cannot imagine how much these people were devoted to reading Harry Potter in a span of like, two days (or even less!). If I were them, I would have drained my eyes too much that they'll probably have eyebags as dark as a black eye. No kidding. And another thing, if I were them I'd not drool on some J.K. Rowling book but rather, another Sophie Kinsella series which btw, I am currently hunting in bookstores.

Harry Potter is more veered on witchcraft adventures of "The-Boy-Who-Lived" and if you know me, I am not fanatic about those types of fiction. I am more inclined toward novels which are conversational in tone and easily understood. Also, its characters are someone I could relate to at the moment or maybe, some time in the future. Take Sophie Kinsella's Shop-a-Holic series for instance (which I actually am proud to say that I completely read); another would be Anne Brashares' "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants." Needless to say, I am (maybe) a boring type of literature enthusiast. (No, I am not offended if you dub me so because I respect your opinion.) I stick to what is common (for me) and seldom (seldom!) tries out something new when it comes to reading.

I do not know exactly why but there is quite an excitement going on deep inside me. I am drawn to much of Harry Potter reviews without knowing the actual reason/s behind it. Yes, I am NOT an avid fan (to prove that, I haven't even watched the movie) but there is something deep inside me practically trying to pull my inner self outward and somewhat saying, "Hey loser, why don't you try out something new." I do not know where this inner calling is trying to lead me but I do feel that it is to a road I am not familiar of.

At the moment, I am completely sharing doubts on whether I should give Harry Potter a try (even though it is TOO late!) or mainly just ignore it. Hm, I guess a little more push and you'll find me in the bookstore trying to squeeze in my way just to get a grasp of the whole series. Hello bookstore, I am here to raid you once again. And Hello Harry Potter, welcome me to your world.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I hadn't but a slightest clue on how fun the class encounter would be this year. It was better in terms of activities lined up. In fact, I regret the fact that I was not totally up to it at first. And since it was one of the sponsored school activities, I was quick to dub it as "boring." (Who would have said I was right?) But frankly, I was trying to cut the negativity going on inside my head as early as the day before it. I did not want it to linger long enough and affect the very few optimisitic, party-mood cells I have (which were most likely lying dormant for quite a while). I did not really grasp on the idea that it was something to look forward to, not even during the day itself.

True enough, to prove my utmost hard headedness, I only packed my things the night before. And what I put in my green luggage were clothes I first saw and thought might be good enough to wear for a school event-- casual and cool. Sadly on my part, I did not stick to what the class chose as theme: retro. Truthfully, I am not vintage-retro-ey born and the fact that I don't have clothes that can be classified under "retro" is another thing. (You might now be saying that leggings are possibly easy to wear. Yes, it is. But I have fatty theighs so I do not think it would be widely appropriate. Yes, I am concious about how I look but I do not do anything about it. How ironic, isn't it?) On the latter part, I am just too KJ and probably didn't have time enough to do "reasonable" packing.

The start of the event was kind of delayed but we did not dare wait any longer for late comers because it would just push the schedule farther even more. Some were dutifully dressed retro-ey complete with leggings, pretty loose graphic or striped vintage tees and flipflops. To top it off, many brought their own accessories which are composed of shades, bangles and those long, colorful necklaces. While I, on the other hand, wore my usual comfy tees with capri and flipflops, sitting in one corner trying to reflect on the fact that I was too dumb not to even try bringing even just an accessory (because it would have probably worked). And so, I tried to squeeze in and just drool over how the others put their heart into their costumes and mind you, they perfectly fit the theme. Yes dear, perfectly. At that moment, I would have wanted a teleport so that I could have gone back home and not long be back with a handful of clothes which would fit the theme as well as accessories. But no, there was no teleport.

The night seemed cool. Cool and breezy, in a way making it pretty hard for us to keep awake. But just in time to save us from the moment of closing our eyes permanently and saying goodnight to the busy day, the 8 center activity emerged. (If not for that, I would have permanently given in to my drooping eyelids.) It served as a wake-me-up-because-I'm-sleepy activity since it required a lot of running around and thinking and talking. [EDIT]No, slash out lking, it was more on YELLING.[/EDIT] What made it different was the fact that we were composed of members we never actually knew much about. In other words, it wasn't our usual set of barkada in the class. Quite challenging? No, not at all. It was so much fun that it came to a point that we were acting like close friends already. We bonded so much that we seemed inseprable. These simple things proved to me that there is so much more behind each of my classmates-- so much more which I did not know of because I did not give myself the chance to get to know them.

There were also other activities but I would not mind emphasizing on all of them. (I will just select some parts to share). Another that I liked was the Chocolate Game wherein the number of nips we had was the actual number of "secrets" we had to spill. The secrets may be anything under the moon. And yes, you got that right, it was ultimately pure hardcore fun-- for my groupmates and me, atleast. It was shocking to embrace realities which you did not expect from a person and usually it all deals with L-O-V-E. Hm. On the contrary, it was thrilling to spill things which you yourself only knew. Well, it was like some form of truth or dare but this time what you are going to talk about or admit is something not forced.

The night was calm and it was the soothing haze of the moon which allowed me to take a sleep after a tiring event. It took me past 2am to sleep. I did not have a comfortable night sadly because I kept on waking up in between and (I do not know exactly what brought me to do this) I kept on looking at the window outside. That time I did not think about spooky things which would have had freaked me out somehow.

Believe me, I learned a lot from an event which I first dubbed as boring. Wrong inference, I admit. More or less, I gained a better understanding about myself and how others thought about me. It made me realize my own potentials and weaknesses and how much people trusted me. Their affirming words were unexpected and I am happy to know that they appreciate my help. Though I may not be able to please everybody (and I do not expect to do so anyway), at least I know that I have done my part to help. Truly, it is again another memorable experience which opened up my sheltered life. I am not the shell anymore but the turtle itself trying to take a peak at the colorful world outside. And yes, I am thankful for all these. Very much.

Friday, July 13, 2007



As you all know, school has been hectic-- I am pertaining to the extremely high demands; demands of all school-related facets. At times, I can't help but give up. A point wherein I sit back, relax, clear my thoughts and get a good night's sleep: making the most of the 5 hours left before I wake up once again and do morning (schoolday) rituals. Believe me, I am suffering much than I had expected. Half of this I have prepared for; the other half was just a shocking reality. Shocking enough that it can actually eat up my grades and give me a failing mark on the test if I just wasn't that tough enough to condition myself that late night studying can be equal to good grades.. atleast. True enough, I have dark skin under my eyes for proof. Blech, Pah.

Bitter truth: if you do not study, you'll fail. It's kind of basic actually-- basic enough that a first grader can understand. But, the challenge comes in once you "do" the actions. The actions which are synonymous to endless studying and devotion of time to analyzing. HUMUNGOUS SUFFERING. Period.

Maybe, I am partly going ga-ga over school-- I think 90% of my life surrounds it anyway. Sounds too geeky? Yeah. Too geeky that I, myself, cannot even fully process. The thought of surving sophomore year is quite an evil-ish dream. It is NOT the easiest. You always have to study, and there's barely enough time for everything. I am such a nerd that even on weekends, I seldom watch tv. Good enough, the internet is here to bring me back to normal life-- if it weren't for this, I would have fallen into the school's hypnotizing realms. Ack.

Start of the day. I usually devote time to attend early morning mass. I know that this may sound too religious, but it's the one that helps me survive the challenging experiences I have to encounter throughout the day. It works as some sort of energy-booster, really.

Well, the simple hi's and hello's lighten my burdens in a way and thinking that people care about me or better yet believe in what I can do, is a huge thing already. I do not know with you guys, but the "thank-you's" I hear from my classmates (whenever I help them) are one of the simple words that create a big impact. I am satisfied that I put my knowledge to good use. The smiles-- yes, even these simple gestures-- are worth seeing for a person who is always held back and trapped by school pressure. FRIENDS, the most precious gift school could offer.

Little things are what we usually take for granted, (wrongly) associating them as useless and "..just not a big deal." But if you come to think of it, these little things are a way for acquiring bigger and more exciting surprises in life. What these little things do is motivate us-- motivate us and inspire us to undergo a change which will, in the end, benefit us: personality, way of life, values. Simple things= simple joys= enjoying life.

Monday, July 02, 2007



I am sparing some time to blog because frankly, I cannot understand a thing. I tried to do the pile of homeworks and read some books but my brain cannot fully process them yet. I guess it all shall be blamed for the overly-joyous weekend I had. And for my part, I did not have enough time left to give attention to school-related torments (homeworks, research, reading). Pardon me if I am blogging to much about school but really, it's the only thing that's keeping me busy lately.

Anyway, reading Florante at Laura is a huge challenge for me. It's like 7th grade "Ibong Adarna" which pissed me off because of the added, not-really-that-important events and resulted to boredom in the end. In other terms, the plot was twisted too much that you do not know where you are really heading. Going on, F at L is not my type of reading material. It's a bit more sophisticated and complicated because, for one, it is written in Filipino. And you know how Filipino writers get to invent some words when composing specially literatures in the form of awit. Believe me, I am trying my best to appreciate F at L but the main problem is I have a difficult time understanding. And the vocab?? They are pain for the brain.

Better yet, I will be signing off because I have to accomplish school work. Tomorrow will be another day and the start of another hell-ish week. Indeed, it's hello reality again.