Thursday, January 29, 2009



I cannot believe how much I enjoyed our Integrated Field Trip. Choosing Transportation, Logistics and Distribution as my career cluster for this event wasn't all that wrong after all. I actually went with my grade six choice of career-- aviation. See, I have been loyal to it all this time!

Well, not really. That's the problem. I haven't actually given much thought on what I would want to pursue in college nor what career path I wish to take. But then, years ago, I've set my mind on becoming a pilot. I was so fascinated with planes and wanted to do something extreme-- something which is unusual-- and so, I guess this desire was partly fulfilled by aspiring for a professional career as an aviator. I mean, come to think of it, there aren't much lady/women pilots out there. (Well, if there were, it's not at par with the ratio of men.) So when the time came for this career cluster grouping, I gave aviation a try. After all, it's just for gaining a little more background about what you think you would like to take up in college. And since there wasn't any other career as appealing to me and my interests, I did sign myself up for Transportation.

As weird as it may seem, I am so so so fascinated with the idea of becoming a pilot that even until now, it sends some sort of adrenaline rush up and down my spine and gives me a temporary increase in my level of hope, uprightness and makes me feel happy, generally. I don't know why, or what brought me to feeling such but perhaps, it could have attributed from the lovely ambiance of the airport, the respectable-looking flight personnel (which I admire, btw) or the complicated view of the cockpit buttons or the cockpit itself. Ahhh. Don't forget the smell of the aircraft-- heaven, indeed. For a while, I've had my own share of hesitations too. For instance, I've pondered on the ideas like, what if someone hijacks the plane, what if we'd have to do an emergency landing, what if we ran out of gas mid-air, etcetera etcetera. But then, I guess when you love something and your heart is really in it, there's a big tendency that the good side would outweigh the downside (despite the fact, that in reality, there are more bad sides to it). Yes, there are also the risks involve, but then again, if you love something and your heart is really in it, it wouldn't matter much, I suppose.

So yes, for today we had our trip to PATTS and AIR LINK. Unfortunately, we weren't fully accomodated by PATTS but we were allowed to tour some parts of their school. It was just like a quick peek inside, about 25-35 mins. Then, we stalled in SM Sucat, waiting for the clock to tick 1:15PM for us to be able to hit the road once again on our way to Air Link. Mind you, in was a small aviation school but I was surprised that they had something prepared to show to us-- a ppt presentation regarding their school, the courses they offer and a brief background of these.

During the talk, I was all the more enlightened and inspired to pursue my dream of becoming a pilot. (The simulator machine made me all the more excited!) As Mr Cocjin (if I remember correctly) described all the wonderful details about the airline industry, my ears were dancing to such beatiful rhythm. I cannot believe it, aviation could actually be exciting.

After the very detailed session we had with the director of the school, we were given the opportunity to tour the campus. It was not a really spacious area but I think it was good enough. The people were well-mannered, mind you. When we were brought to the area where their airplanes were parked, I was left with awe: I think (and should believe) that I would be flying one of those soon. Ha, just you wait.

But then of course, with all the good sides/benefits presented, the bad sides tag along with it. For instance, one should give her full effort and attention in order to be successful in this field-- in other words, no boyfriend, not much social life, no girlfriends. Yes, that's the major downfall of this career. Oh, plus, no holidays. Great Joy. Well, for my parents' part, I guess they would give it a thumbs up-- I mean, the no boyfriend part, at least. As for me, it could be considered unlikely but, honestly speaking, a bit reasonable because of the very expensive tuition fee the school requires: it's no joke to use millions of pesos a year for studying.

Well, if budget permits and my will is still there, I would probably pursue this career. But for now, I'll rejoice over that 100 Geom QT score! Boo-ya!!!

Sunday, January 04, 2009



I realized that 2008 swooped by and I haven't grabbed the opportunity to actually say my last words for the past year. I think that it would be the absolute thing to do since it is a new year this time and what a perfect way to officially close the past year with a decent, reminiscent post.

Well, 2008 has been an incredible journey, not only for me but I believe, for others as well. It was the time which allowed every individual to grow richer in experience and live up to maturity needs. It was the break-free moment for a nation blinded by earthly desires wrapped around in greed, fraud and lies. It was the occurrence of simple every day miracle of physical, spiritual and emotional healing. It was His unwavering love and embrace to those seeking comfort. 2008 was a journey-- a journey towards a better world, a better country, a better nation, a better community, a better family, a better you.

As for me, I can personally say that 2008 was a roller coaster ride-- not an absolute haywire but quite a challenge to bear with every day. More so, it was a period of rediscovering and discovering myself as well. I had managed to come to a better understanding of myself, of my function, of what I am capable of achieving. But I guess the biggest thing that I encountered this year was growing up and letting go-- reality.

I had not known how much feelings I've stored within me for the past--almost--couple of years. If it weren't for that special letter, I probably would have been holding on to something which should have been let go way, way in the past. The feelings were immeasurable. They were present for me to reminisce and think about the "good times"-- and also, sulk over what had happened, what could have happened, why it did not happen. It was something which made me feel good that I was loved but it all eventually ended up making me feel like wanting to engage in it all over again. It trapped me into a vast array of "if... only" statements. Not really pinning down and giving up on all hope that is left. I was holding on when in fact, it should have been set free long ago.

Two years may have been ancient and too long to hold on to. Perhaps, I was dumbfounded with this "crazy little thing" that it overwhelms even my inner system, locking my ears up so as not to hear the incessant cries of common sense, "let go, this is not worth the wait." I was left there, hoping and hoping and hoping. Even in the most unusual circumstance, I can't bear the fact of letting go.

Yes. I hated that about myself.

More than once I thought that we'd be on that road again. I was wrong. It was only me. I, who was so crazily infatuated by superficial imaginations, fell into a manhole of unreachable dreams, bombarded by "why" questions. And then again, I did not lose hope. In that manhole, I was still clinging on tightly to the thin rope, hoping that it was that someone holding on to rescue me. There goes again my false hope. I was wrong. The rope, well, it was just stuck to the road up ahead.

When I wrote the letter, I made sure that everything I wanted to say, every emotion I wanted to let go of, and every hope that's left of me, would be written with all sincerity. And that I surely did.

Believe it or not, until now I haven't completely closed my doors yet.. although I would have wanted to do so, I cant. I don't want to rule out the fact that perhaps fate would bring it all back again. On the contrary, I managed to close it little by little-- an inch at a time.

Well, there goes my love story. It wasn't all that good but it wasn't all that bad either. It has proven me a lot of things about myself-- things which I never knew I possessed until I wrote the letter.

For one, I never knew how much capable I am of falling in love and loving someone. I gave my all, meant every word I said and fulfilled that space inside of me which wanted to care for someone. I saw in me a strong person. Someone who, even though held onto deep emotions and an overwhelming range of experiences, managed to stand upright, say my piece and go on with 90% of my life. I discovered how much hopeful I am and persistent not to give up. I learned how to love and felt how great it was to be loved in return.

It's been almost two years and all I can say is, "What a Journey it Was!" I've opened up, finally. And I believe I am a much stronger individual.

And for the record, I am not losing any hope that he'd reply to the letter.

Cheers. Happy New Year to All.