Friday, December 11, 2009

I have been having the longest college dilemma ever. Perhaps, it is due to the fact that I have not given it (college) much thought until entrance exams drew near. And to think it was not much of an issue, I never really daydreamed about myself attending college somewhere, some time in the near future. (Well, don't get me wrong here. Yes, I plan to get into college but all the itsy-bitsy tiny details aren't well thought of. I will be pleased by knowing that I get into a good school then the 'planning' ends there.)

Usually, whenever I watch teenage chickflick films (with all their usual themes and topics; issues and dilemmas), I would encounter scenes where they feature one of the stars receiving a letter of acceptance-- or better yet, scholarship-- from some fancyschmancy school they applied in (most often, their dream school).

I never really thought that that same instance I would encounter soon. (And by "soon", I meant this year... just yesterday, to be exact.) Since I wasn't eyeing any particular college here (abroad I have this dream school named, Loyola Marymount University in California-- in which, as I've recently learned, my cousin studies. Oh how envious I feel. But then again, I have decided not to take SAT's any time now. I will wait for that bang of assurance and maturity before I engage in such major decisions involving living a life of independence.) I've got not much worries except that I wish to pass any (or if possible, all) of the three colleges I've applied in-- UP, Ateneo, and UA&P. What actually matters to me is that I pass a college entrance exam so that I will have a college to study in (duhh). That's all, really. And anyway, I have no objection whatsoever with these three schools. They are convenient (with regard to travel time), hold good reputations, and offer a nice set of curriculum. Any of the three can be my dream school, I guess.

Yesterday, after all the stress, pressure, and drama we had in school because of the numerous tests and quizzes we took (which seemed endless, mind you), I went home really tired and eager to rest. Not long though, I was handed a letter by our helper and she said it just arrived that morning. Upon looking at it and reading from whom it came from (University of Asia and the Pacific), I did not much feel any excitement since I was already somehow assured of passing when I got myself interviewed for a full merit scholarship which they considered me a candidate. During the interview, I was accommodated warmly by a lady (of whom I forgot the name, or maybe she didn't mention LOL) whom I had an easy time conversing with. She asked me if I knew why I was there-- why I was considered a candidate for full merit scholarship (along with perky bonuses of 6k stipend and 5k book allowance per semester). Of course, I couldn't help but answer a sheer "no" since as far as I was concerned, I cancelled all my scholarship applications. In other words, I didn't apply for any. In response, she told me that I was considered for such because of my good high school grades and my performance in their entrance examination. And really, that blew me off. I mean, all these high school efforts composed of sleepless nights, study dramas, and big eye bags topped with peer, family, and teacher pressures have finally, FINALLY, paid off. Just plainly knowing that I got considered was a big thing for me-- a really big thing. It was an honor, a privilege, an opportunity which I never thought would come across my way because I know that there are still a whole bunch of other girls way, way smarter than me. Of course, after the peak, the downside was presented. We were, in totality, 21 students considered for the spot, however, only ONE will get the spot. No, my whole world did not collapse after being introduced to the reality. I was still overwhelmed by the thought that I got considered, that I got in, and that this is such an instance which I never thought would exist in my life, which I thought would just stay in the chickflick movies I watched. And like what I mentioned earlier, the fact that I got myself as a candidate is already a big thing for me. Whether I get it or not, I am happy because I got myself this far, and I proved to myself and to my family that I really can do it. I really can excel.

As far as I know, the interview went on smoothly. Of course, there was the usual "i-feel-nervous" syndrome-- cold hands, slight panting. (Ha, I could never get rid of 'em.) But the lady who interviewed me was so pleasant and fun to converse with. She had that comforting tone of voice which eased my anxieties and helped me get through this 'ordeal' which can either break or lead my path towards THE GOAL. Afterwards, I felt really good! It was that elated feeling which overwhelmed me and for the rest of the day, at least, I was at the peak of happiness, something which I haven't really felt for a long while since I've been tangled up with schoolwork.

Before it was over, however, the interviewee told me that they'll keep in touch as to the status of this endeavor, whether I get through or not. Weeks passed by and I was not really expecting any because for sure, there is great competition and yes, the interview itself made its way to my history-- something which I will forever treasure.

Yet my fate took a strikingly good turn yesterday. As I read the letter, it mentioned that I got accepted in UA&P but that the letter itself was not just an acceptance letter-- this was in caps, btw. As I read on, I realized that I got offered 100% merit scholarship with 6k stipend and 5k book allowance per semester. At first, I could not really believe it. I had to read the important sections over and over and over again just to make it sink in. Once it did, I was stupefied (thanks Ms. Raquitico for this word; partly thanks to Les Miserables as well) and again, elated. I was overwhelmed by mixed emotions-- sheer shock, happiness, and the I-can't-believe-it look topped with paralyzation (LOL). But really, I couldn't couldn't believe it. Then Mom, after noticing my weird reaction to the letter, asked me to read it aloud to her. She too was overwhelmed by a feeling of shock and happiness, but it's more of the latter. Much to my excitement, this letter was my 'surprise' to dad. It was the first time ever that both my mom and dad congratulated me together. I felt really good; I felt on top of the world, with both my parents standing beside me, I felt like as if nothing will get in my way.

Yes it is true. After all the hard work, after all the pains, you will be rewarded. And this reward is something I will never ever forget, for the longest time, I suppose. I have until January 15th of next year to confirm my acceptance of the scholarship they offered and really, I will think things through. (A little help friends? UP, Ateneo, UA&P) As of now, I am just so happy to know that these movie scenes can also occur in my life. Perhaps, perhaps, the next chapter will be a love story? Ha-ha-ha. As they say, it's not bad to dream ;-)