Friday, October 26, 2007



How many times have I nagged myself out of the bundles of cob-web-CRAMming but initially get stuck all over it again? It's as if I constantly slide through some smooth pavement just marked "Wet Area" and have my buttocks and pants sweep it off to dry; however, I head straight off to some glass wall and have my empty pate bump onto it-- just realizing that it was glass and I'm just, well, some hard bone. Ouch. The constant "aide-memoire" of my knowledgeable parents do not pay off even a bit. I seem to forget all about my goals and aims whenever I am faced with delicious temptations of the clickable mouse and satisfying "tick-tick-tick" sound of the keyboard. Oh, and oh! The awesome view of my monitor. Frankly, they just seem to be so tempting-- it's as though their continuously batting eyelashes call, "Hey you, you need a piece of me." Their constant cries do not pay off during the recent days because I was 51% determined to study and pull up my dramatically slipping grades. Devoting my time to studies didn't seem me at all, specially when I found out that I spent 1pm to 10pm studying for that threatening Biology Quarterly Test. I made it a point to not fall behind what Ms de la Paz kept warning us days before-- that it will be very, very difficult. And much to my chicken-legged self-confidence on the fact that I can manage to slip through the narrow gates of the Quarterly Test, I burried myself in that thick Biology Book burning the midnight oil. I opted to study for both English and CLE but my eyelids were very much on the verge of shutting down-- my systems and organs cry out for a night of good rest even just for the remaining seven hours. Of course, I could not deny them because nothing will happen anyway if I try to push them any further.

My brain might have actually been filled up to its capacity-- maybe, I even exceeding in some ways. If I just had the brain of Einstein or at least Julienne (the smartest girl in our batch), maybe I will not have to worry and be burdened by passing the test nor by stuffing information in the very last minute. Sadly speaking, we all do not have equal brain capacity and maybe, just maybe, I am one not destined to be clever, wise.. maybe I was ought to excell in something else, say.. sports?

This quarter's tests were well off than ordinary. I barely had enough time to study which is very much unusual because I usually have surplus time for myself, that is to indulge myself with this satisfying modern-age technologies. Savvvy.

I do not know if I did well or if I did poorly, though I wish I fall on the former. I think I have to work things out seriously this time.. after all, it's just two more quarters down and I will be off again.

Monday, October 22, 2007



Back to the fresh cut of current events talk for the past couple of days: Makati Blast killed 9 people and injured many.

I know it has captured numerous crowds and instilled to everyone a considerable amount of fear-- including me. What is ironic (and practically, what bothers me the most) is the fact that officials and Glorietta personel have been repeatedly saying, (not in the exact same way, but the same idea) not to worry about a thing because people in their mall are completely safe. Safe, eh? Are they trying to pound a certain statement of sarcasm? Are they specifically trying to hide their flaws? Or are they plainly trying to act stupidly towards the scenario? Tell me, are majority still capable of remaining calm and courageous after the disastrous event that just recently took place? I mean, consider all that has happened! Even though I was not there, the almost whole day feature of the tragedy on flash reports (on tv), which include interviews from the primary sources drew a vivid picture of what really happened and how catastrophic it seemed. The nightmare had just been transformed into a reality. I, myself, was left in shock moments after realizing that it was indeed true.

Frankly saying, I was expecting more than nine people to die, bearing in mind that Glorietta is one of the crowded malls in the metro. But thankfully, it wasn't as evilishly suicidal as I expected. More so, almost a hundred people suffered injuries from the said incident. God forbid that death tolls would rise. I hope that it will halt in just a flat nine.

This is what troubles me the most about our country. Everyone of us, citizens, know that we are a poor country but what are we actually doing? We are hammering down our economy thinking less about the good things we could have done if we managed to obliterate our selfish acts. Now what do we want the other countries to think of us? What do want the future generation to experience? Do we want to be inagurated as the INCONSIDERATE FILIPINOS of the 21st Century? How absurd is our level of thinking? We have been offered good education but what do we do about it? Are we wrongly brought up learning how to be ungrateful about our blessings? And yes, what about our religion? As to the fact that majority of us are Catholics, why does it seem as if we do not even have our God? Why do we just turn to him in times of need?

Having been able to witness such a shattering event left a mark in my total well-being. I do not just feel disappointed about what happened, but pitiful at the extent of how cruel people can be. I feel shameful about us, Filipinos, who do not know anything else but satisfying our self-seeking desires. Truthfully, we have grown into some uncontrollable region of 75% evil and 25% good. But I know, somewhere out there, despite our evil intensions, our selfish deeds, our inconsiderate thinking, and destructive ideas, there is still at least a pint of good efforts inserted in our deepest selves-- if only we give time for ourselves to figure them out, maybe it can grow into something magnificent.

As how the old saying goes, "past is past" but we should connote the wrong mindset that when we say past is past, there is nothing we can do. Think about it.. maybe there is some inner calling within each and everyone of us, all we need is a moment of silence and minute of prayer.

Friday, October 19, 2007



Let's face it, I am not a very sociable person. If you are my schoolmate, you'd probably notice me alone through corridors either walking briskly, trying to catch my breath and run after my pulsating heartbeat or walking calmy which mostly happens when I do productive things the night before. I am not that dependent of my friends-- well, do regular "may you accompany me to the washroom" dialogues count? I mean, hello, we are girls-- in fact, it takes all guts within me to spill out even just a pinch of personal secrets. Now imagine, what more for problems. Initially, I try to open up bit by bit but some things hold me back, of which I cannot exactly pin-point at the moment. Perhaps, my self-confidence plays half the role for such a situation and can be partly blamed for my less emotional self.

Just recently, I attended a Kumon event at PICC and surprisingly, I met my closest bud in seventh grade. Of all the places, of all the gimmicks that backfired, it was here at some formal event that we actually got to see each other again for more than a year. Imagine how great the feeling was! Once I entered the lobby, I headed for registration and while on the way to the actual theatre, I saw a family moving closer and closer to mine, suddenly noticing that the faces looked "kind of" familiar. And with a swift slanting of the head, I saw my best bud walking towards our direction! I was enthralled-- at first, speechless. A hug was all I could give her after the long year of which we didn't get to grab the mere chance to see each other. The moment was great-- simply indescribable. It was at the moment that I realized how long it has been; how much I have missed her; and how long we might not see each other again.

Before the ceremony ended, we both had the chance to use up ten to fifteen minutes of friendly talks: we talked about everything we could think about-- mostly school-life related. Even though it wasn't enough for the lengthy updates we owe to each other, the time spent was actually as valuable as the first time I considered her my friend.

I never thought that you could actually miss someone this much. I never realized how amazing time can bring back memories and similarly, how it can manipulate emotions within a person. Honestly, I was amazed. I was amazed at how exactly one can miss a person that all he/she can do is give a hug.. a hug so tight as if it would take forever to see each other again. Throughout all of these, I realized that pressure can be cooled down, problems simplified, memories replenished-- all simply wraped up in a warm, pleasurable embrace.